It’s so pitiful that some of us can’t bring ourselves to say these simple words ‘I’M SORRY’. I mean, when you are wrong or you handled something inappropriately, the onus lies on you that you make quick amends to rectify the situation. Perhaps it’s a function of our pride that is so over the tops that we believe apologizing is just beneath us. Some people also have puff- off ego that is taller that mount Everest itself; they are so full of themselves that even when all eyes are on them and the only form of escape from a really bad position is to tender an apology, they would still be hell bent on maintaining their sense of personal power. I read somewhere that even when proud people feel empowered, they have no real friends and even their families put up with them because they are relatives. People avoid them at all cost. Really, no one wants to have any close relationship with people who consider themselves ‘small gods’ in their conduct. And If you ask me, there is no greater sense of pride than admitting you are wrong when you actually did something wrong. It doesn’t matter if it was done on purpose or otherwise, as soon as you perceive that you are wrong, just APOLOGISE.
But I believe we find it difficult to apologize because we only worry about ourselves and how we feel. The moment we look past ourselves and begin to put ourselves in the shoes of the people we have wronged, I tell you; it is then we will understand that we need apology.
I will like us to read through nine crucial reasons why we need to get down our high horses and do the right thing when we are wrong:
- Apologizing restores what you took away from the other person when you wronged them – their self-worth and power.
- The person you have wronged will most likely feel better physically and emotionally when you apologize. In fact, research shows that those who receive a sincere apology exhibit lowered blood pressure after receiving it.
- When you apologize, you set a positive example and others will be more willing to admit their mistakes and apologise when they are in the wrong.
- Your relationship will grow closer due to this deeper level of self-disclosure. It is easy to talk about things when you are right, but when you admit your mistake and flaws, you demonstrate a deeper level of trust in and caring for the other person.
- Showing your flaws and vulnerability by apologizing will make you a more likable person. People don’t like or trust ‘perfect’ people. When you apologize, you admit and reveal your likable imperfection.
- Once you have apologized, you will no longer seem like a threat to the other party. When you have wronged someone, they will constantly be on guard for the next attack, when you apologise, it often helps their guard back down.
- Apologising provides justice to the other party. When they remain feeling wronged, they remain angry and focused on the past. An apology can allow the other party to let go of anger and move forward.
- Apologising brings healing to a relationship. When you refuse to apologise, you allow the wrong to poison your relationship. The wrong leads to ‘pay back’, negative (or no) communication, grudges and resentment, which will eventually destroy the relationship.
- Apologising is often the first step you can take toward asking for (and receiving) forgiveness, which we all need every now and then.
Benjamin Franklin once said “NEVER RUIN AN APOLOGY WITH AND EXCUSE” John Ruskin also said “ IT IS BETTER TO LOSE YOUR PRIDE WITH SOMEONE YOU LOVE RATHER THAN TO LOSE THAT SOMEONE YOU LOVE WITH YOUR USELESS PRIDE” So swallow your pride, stop focusing on yourself, and apologize. It’s time!