RAHEEM HAMMED

As far as the University of Ibadan community is concerned, it is a conglomerate of “sly” articulated so well that they can compete in any part of the world if there is a competition specifically meant for “slying”.

Photo Credit: Haywhy93

It is only the freshmen that might be lost in the use of my language here but for clarification sake, “sly” as fondly used in the University of Ibadan campus connotes someone that specifically disappointed you in one way or the other. It could be that the Awo girl you have been spending your time with is not into you for a minute, or that Queens girl you check on every night has one material you don’t have, and at the end, she had a 7 points and you managed to have 1 point by luck. There are several examples of ‘sly in this school, and I am sure the best of them are in Idia hall. (coman beat me in my room if it af pain you)

Those Idia girls you see around are nothing but “sly”. Take it or leave it. Historically, they “slyed” our very own Hope’14 that year and made him lose the presidential election at the Students Union level. You know what Katangites did that time? They locked the gates that serves as a shortcut and forced the “slying” Idiates to take a long walk to Idia. The other time, they went and married Mellanbites (hall week). It is not as if katangites are pained o, it’s just that, “who does that?” Our very own Idia, collaborating with Mellanby. Katangites kukuma did their own back and travelled up north to Awo for marriage (Awo weds Indy themed hall week) last session.

Let’s even leave all this marriage talk and face what happened on my way back to school two weeks ago – another case of the slying power of an Idiate. We had entered a bus from Lagos headed for Sango-UI. It then came as a rude shock when the nonsense driver told us halfway through the journey that he was not going to UI again but Iwo Road’. I was greatly enraged but somehow managed to shelve my anger. Other passengers were rather complacent about the change. But one lady stood out. With great tenacity, she shouted at the top of her lungs, championing the cause of others (those going to UI). This lady seemed to me as though she uses Hypo or Jik to bath. Her skin looked like it was photoshopped, very clean.
Because of her spirit of activism, I had to ask if she was a UIte. Lo and behold! She brought out her ID card. She was a graduate of Educational Management, Idia hall) her purpose of coming to school was for clearance. Now that we have two UItes on the bus, I was sure this errant driver had no choice but to take us to school. It was then I revealed my true self and started shouting too. Before long, the driver got to Iwo road and shouted: “gbogbo ero o” which was an indication for commuters to alight. People came down, leaving me and my newfound, activist ladyfriend. With our UI aluta spirit, we continued exchanging hot words words with him.

The driver began closing the windows and was already heading for another unknown destination. There and then, I decided I would make formal complaints to the chairman of whichever park he might be heading to and perhaps, inform the police too. Shebi I have my school ID card, I reasoned. A part of my mind questioned the sense in that since I knew how men in black uniforms are wont to do. One thing was sure – I would not get down if he did not refund my money or take me to UI. This was our (me and my Idia friend) resolution, until the yellow-skinned lady started receiving calls. She even started describing our location to the person on the other end. Within me, I assumed she was calling one huge soldier with lokozuna-like muscles to “teach the driver a lesson.” Unknown to me, she was actually calling her boyfriend or one of her boyfriends to come pick her up. She got down and disappeared into thin air.

Now I am left with my character and now flaccid aluta spirit. The driver came back from (God knows where he went to) and said: “Ehen, so na you remain abi, where your second? She don go, she don leave you. You better get down too before I take you to my park.” It was then that my bottled up anger exploded and I started shouting. When the man realised I wouldn’t stop my rantings anytime soon, he resorted to speaking Yoruba to me: “Shebi okunrin ni iwo na (you are a man too). Don’t be like that lady; she has done nothing but to disappoint you. “Oya gba” (Take). He handed over to me a rumpled 200 naira note and that ended it.  I took my bag and spoke to my legs.

Had the lady not gone, we would have seen to the end of the matter- the man takes us to his park and we complain to their chairman or he gives us our change, or at best he takes us to UI. She went because she had a better offer and left what she started. That is one area we students should explore- united we stand, divided we fall

Dear freshmen, be warned not to take them (Idia people) too serious, they are nothing but ‘slys’. Do not get me wrong, there are ‘slys’ in Queens, Awo, agbowo, Ajibode and so on, but the greatest of  all ‘SLYS’ are in Idia hall.

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