NEVER LOSE YOURSELF TO REMAIN IN A RELATIONSHIP

It’s been a long time we had one of our heart to heart talks on the xclusive segment. Hmm, I really miss giving us tips on important issues that affects almost everyone; but I am back now. Happy resumption to all and sundry! I hope we did enjoy our long break and we did something worthwhile or anything at all that was fun. ‘winks’

Don’t we all know that loving the right person at the right time can bring so much joy and happiness into one’s life. when you find true love, you feel as though you haven’t been so alive. it can be the most blissful and wonderful experience that you just want to relive over and over again. You just can’t describe how the person’s company makes you feel, all you want is never to be apart from them and live happily ever after. 
However, the downside or the trick in surrendering all of you to love or loving fiercely is that you might inadvertently lose yourself in the process. I mean, here you are, putting all you have got into a relationship because you absolutely want it to work that you totally forgot to be happy. It’s so easy to try so hard to please your partner, all you care about is putting a smile on their faces. You over think, beat yourself too hard when you feel you aren’t doing enough.
Sadly, what most people forget is that being in love is not trying the hardest. it isn’t about catering to one person’s needs and it isn’t about following someone’s path. 

When you are in the right relationship, you look forward together, in the same direction. Even when you catch yourself putting that person’s needs before yours, it’s gratifying because he/she is doing the same thing. True love is all about doing what is best for both of you, because ultimately, you are one.
So, I need you to look back at the pattern, trends and what’s been the status quo since you entered your relationship. Kindly ask yourself some of these questions and see the type of answers you get even from yourself. ask yourself ” Am I happy in and outside my relationship? Perhaps you have been deluding yourself into thinking as long as my partner is happy, automatically, I should be happy too. NO. it rarely doesn’t work that way. You have to build a life outside your relationship too and even inside your relationship. Do things that gives you fulfillment. if you used to write, write. don’t stop being you, and if the person is right for you, he/she will support you in every way. No one is saying you shouldn’t care and love your partner, in fact it is very essential in every healthy relationship. But when you deeply search inward and realize that sparks and light you see on your face when you look at the mirror is no longer existent, my dear you need to sit yourself down and evaluate your relationship before you completely forget what true happiness means.
Do you ever worry yourself that you aren’t doing enough?  well, chances are you are doing just enough to satisfy even the most difficult person. Most of us just worry we aren’t enough. we are constantly looking for ways to help our other half. The good question you need to ask yourself is ” Has your other half offered the same courtesy by doing things for you? Has he/she surprised you with something sweet, has he/she noticed and acknowledged your efforts?” Really, know that you are doing enough. it’s not until you do his laundry or buy her the most expensive gift that you can barely afford. Don’t go making your life miserable and hard all in the name of making your partner life easy.
Another thing you need to ask yourself is “Do I look for constant affirmatives?” My dear, it’s not cool to always go about asking your partner ‘we are cool, right’ Or waking up with the constant worry and telling yourself ‘this is getting better’ in an ideal relationship, you do not have to be concerned about your partner feeling the same way as you do because they should. Why are you in a relationship when all you do is doubt your partner’s feelings? love provides you with security and confident, not second guessing everything and lack of faith.
lastly, have you given up your dreams for his/ hers? See, life is all about give and take. if for whatever reasons you sacrifice your dreams when a solid opportunity comes your partner’s way. You must know that your partner will do the same for you but don’t give up your dreams to be able to remain together. your dreams should simultaneously work together to create the best future for both of you.
i must say, you have to love yourself first and foremost before you can even attempt to love someone else. To truly love someone, you have to live a be happy and fulfilled life. you don’t have to change your life for someone else. there is someone out there who will gladly love you and never give you the cause to be unhappy. DONT LOSE YOURSELF TO KEEP ANY RELATIONSHIP, NO MATTER WHAT.
Well, this is it on this week’s segment. I hope you got one or two useful tips on how to continue being happy even while you are in a relationship. All we care about here at Xclusive is to always keep you on the right track on issues of life. Until we meet again, have a fulfilling week ahead, Be good!  

                                                   SAVVY

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