“Ahmm….,you! What did you say happened to you?” She barked at her

“It’s my phone ma. I was charging it in the kitchen since there was no light but when I got there this morning I couldn’t find it ma. That was why I came to report to you ma.”

“And you what has this got to do with you?” She lowered her glasses to the bridge of her nose and looked as she said it in a manner that suggested she was trying to intimidate me.  Ooleri! I refuse to be intimidated over the mosquito’s carelessness. 

Omo! See question. No be you talk sey make I come nawnaw. You come dey ask me say wetin? I almost hissed before I caught myself and answered the porter. I made sure I met her gaze squarely. Èmi gan Chief Intimidator. 

“Someone came to inform me that you want to see me.” I said in a manner that screamed disinterest. 

“Hmm hmmm…” That was Miss Careless

Hmmm…you no know before you. You kum dey ask me funny questions. Abi! Stay there dey ask me. Punch line plenty past Tribune. Mtchew

“Where were you when she was narrating what happened?” 

And so? Na me come thief am?  Hehehe, see me trouble.

“Yes ma. I then turned to face the girl.” She didn’t even look like someone that realised she had been stupidly careless. Okay nah.  


“Yes.” She answered like a customer care agent.

You still get mouth. O n pẹ  ko to sọ phone nu. Wa a si sọ necklace aboki to gbesorun bi eranileya.

“Did I take your phone?”

 “No, I just came to…”

“Did you see me with your phone?” 

“Was that the question I asked you?”

“Noooo! It is the answer you gave.”

“No ma. But she came…”

“Listen to me you this girl. It is what I ask you, you are required to answer.”

“Eyile juche 156 timokatele. Se eminimowagbe phone alakoba yin ni. Abiewowanigan….”

“Where is her phone?” Miss Porter again

No problem. Punch line activating…………….

“I don’t know ma.”

“She said that she charged her phone in the kitchen which is in front of your room. How is that possible?”

“With God all things are possible.”

“What did you say?” She asked in the manner Yoruba mothers do before they knack you correct get-some-manners abara. 

“I said that I do not know ma. She came to my room and said that she was looking for her phone but she did not ask me to look after her phone nor was I aware that she was charging her phone. Besides, everyone should be held responsible for his or her actions and inactions. Her insensitivity is her problem, not mine so I do not see any reason why she should involve me in this.”


“No problem. You and your roommates should get another phone for her.”

“Haah ma. I did not take it ma.”

“Ok. It is either you find the thief or get another phone for her. You can go.”

“Ma please,  help me tell her that it is TecnoCamon 9, 70k.”

Well I wasn’t sure of what I heard neither did I hear if the porter repeated what she said. But I trust my roommate, they will willingly mobilize an ‘unpeaceful state of the hall’. 

“Chioma, wait for me or will you say that you did not see me.”

Well that is Kemi, my noisy roommate… 

To be continued… 

Missed PART 1? Read it here:



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